1
00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:15,720
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys!

2
00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:18,680


3
00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:21,160


4
00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:24,040


5
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,680
You two be careful out there now.

6
00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,920
We will. And keep your wits
about you.

7
00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:33,800
<font color="

8
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:36,680
And we've Google Maps as well,
just in case.

9
00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:38,960
Have you got everything you need?

10
00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:41,600
Have you got your hat, your gloves?
Clean underwear?

11
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:42,680
Yes, Mammy.

12
00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:44,800
Good boy. Where's your hiking boots?

13
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:47,360
<font color="
You don't need hiking boots.

14
00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:49,680
You can't go up a mountain
in sneakers and sandals.

15
00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:51,600
The other priests are doing it
barefoot.

16
00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,400
And if they put their hand
in the fire,

17
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:56,240
would you put your hand
<font color="

18
00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:58,240
Probably.

19
00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,080
Mammy, we have to go.

20
00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:01,280
Goodbye.

21
00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:03,320
Ring me and let me know you're safe.

22
00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:06,040
It's a mountain, so there probably
won't be any phone signal.

23
00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:07,560
Send a text.

24
00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:12,040
And hold hands
<font color="

25
00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:19,640
The things faith makes people do.

26
00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:21,880
Going up a mountain
in your bare feet.

27
00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:24,920
I wouldn't go up me stairs
without me slippers.

28
00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:26,880
Come on, look.

29
00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:28,560
Where are they going?

30
00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:30,080
Look.

31
00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:33,600
<font color="
Croagh Patrick.

32
00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:35,480
I climbed up Croagh Patrick.

33
00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:37,440
No, you didn't.
Her name was Patricia,

34
00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:40,120
and she's lost weight since then.

35
00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:41,440
Come on.

36
00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:46,200
Well, Cathy's gone
to a conference in Rome,

37
00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:48,120
<font color="
the pilgrimage,

38
00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:49,800
I have the house to meself.

39
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:50,920
Tea!

40
00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:52,680
Almost.

41
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:55,440
I'll get it for you in a minute.

42
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:58,000
How are you, Winnie? Yeah.

43
00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:01,680
I just saw Father Damien and Trevor
<font color="

44
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:03,720
Yeah, they're so excited.

45
00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:06,040
Did you sprinkle them
with holy water?

46
00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:08,680
They're priests.
They're the ones that make it.

47
00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:11,680
Whatever's in their water bottle
now is already holy.

48
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:17,360
<font color="
Hello, you two.

49
00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:19,840
You two look very happy. Do we?

50
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,320
What's going on?

51
00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:24,520
Come on, spill the beans.

52
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,680
Tea, for God's sake!

53
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,000
Don't mind him, he's just narky.

54
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,520
He's been laid up in bed.

55
00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:33,840
<font color="
laid up in Italy.

56
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:36,720
What happened, Grandad?

57
00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:39,840
He was watching Loose Women
and he hurt his wrist.

58
00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:43,160
Don't ask me.

59
00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:46,600
Here, Dermot, give him one of them,
<font color="

60
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,280
Tell her nothing, sweetheart.
I won't, darling.

61
00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:51,400
RETCHES

62
00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:54,640
Sit down, Maria.

63
00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:57,160
Now, let's start
with the bullet points

64
00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:59,360
and we can fill in the gaps later.

65
00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:01,400
<font color="

66
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:05,280
Oh, good, because, you know,
I wouldn't like this to turn ugly.

67
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:08,400
But I can't. Winnie, get me
a car battery and some jump leads.

68
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:10,040
What drawer are they in?

69
00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:13,720
Winnie, I'm bucking joking,
sit down.

70
00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:16,680
<font color="
to do something.

71
00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:19,040
Ah, you're getting a pussycat.

72
00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:20,600
No.

73
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,280
Ah, you're moving house.

74
00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:23,720
No, we are...

75
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,440
Ah, you're having a baby.

76
00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:29,240
Winnie, for God's sake,
it's not 20 questions.

77
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:32,720
<font color="
if he impregnated you again.

78
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,240
A new baby would be lovely, Agnes.

79
00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:39,640
Yeah, one.
They don't have them in ones.

80
00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:43,320
We'll be up to our neck
in shitty nappies again.

81
00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:44,960
We are not having a baby.

82
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,440
Ah, you're getting a dog.

83
00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:49,240
<font color="
or I'll cut out your tongue

84
00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:51,160
and I'll feed it to the dog.

85
00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:52,600
You ARE getting a dog.

86
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:53,920
Oh, Jesus.

87
00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:57,320
I know, you're emigrating.

88
00:03:58,560 --> 00:03:59,600
Yes.

89
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:01,280
What?

90
00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:02,800
I'm only joking.

91
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,120
Me bucking heart.

92
00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:08,960
<font color="

93
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:12,800
How could I get it out of her
with motormouth here?

94
00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:15,680
She was only short
of waterboarding her.

95
00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:18,560
Is it a baby? Is it a cat?
Is it a stepladder?

96
00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:24,560
It's not Family bucking Fortunes.

97
00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:26,000
<font color="

98
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,480
Yes, please.

99
00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:28,960
BOTH: We're getting married.

100
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:31,960
Oh, Jesus, that's lovely.

101
00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:33,760
Congratulations.

102
00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:35,200
What?

103
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,600
I'm delighted for yous.

104
00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:38,800
Thanks, Winnie.

105
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,800
<font color="

106
00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:43,280
Isn't that a surprise, Agnes?

107
00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:45,040
It's a big surprise, Winnie,

108
00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:48,280
when you consider that
they're already bucking married.

109
00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:58,040
I think I hear a car.

110
00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:00,720
Quick, Winnie,
run round there and check.

111
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,920
<font color="

112
00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:04,480
You're some sidekick.

113
00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:07,920
Will I check?

114
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:10,800
Jesus Christ, you frightened
the life out of me.

115
00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:12,400
What are you doing here?

116
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:13,960
I just came in to investigate.

117
00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:15,640
I seen all the lights off.

118
00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:17,160
Thought it looked a bit dodgy.

119
00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:18,800
<font color="

120
00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,320
Who we hiding on?

121
00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:24,400
Hillary Nicholson.

122
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:27,120
Why? It's Hillary.

123
00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:28,720
The why is irrelevant.

124
00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:33,440
Oh, she's probably just coming
over to talk about Dermot and Maria

125
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:36,480
renewing their vows, is she?
<font color="

126
00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,040
Let yourself out.

127
00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:39,840
OK. See you.

128
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,240
Yeah, can't wait.

129
00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:45,200
Oh, hello, Mrs Nicholson.

130
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,400
Oh, jeez, what?!

131
00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:48,840
Got you again!

132
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,480
Agnes, I hear an engine.

133
00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:01,040
OK, Winnie, you hold the fort.

134
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:02,440
<font color="

135
00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:11,840
GLASS SMASHES

136
00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:14,600
CLATTERING

137
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,160
Agnes, it's only Birdie.

138
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:50,880
Let her in, then.

139
00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:53,960
How are you, Birdie?

140
00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:58,160
Hiya, Winnie, love. How's it going?
Shush, you two. Shush.

141
00:06:58,160 --> 00:06:59,840
I feel like a commando.

142
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,360
<font color="

143
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:06,640
But where would you find
two commandos at this hour?

144
00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:08,480
THEY CACKLE

145
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:09,560
Shush.

146
00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:15,720
Hiya, Birdie. Stay quiet.

147
00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:19,680
Agnes, do you know what was odd?

148
00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:25,440
What? When I was letting Birdie in,
<font color="

149
00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:28,680
We very seldom see a car
like that on our road.

150
00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:30,760
You fecking eejit.

151
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:32,080
That's Hillary!

152
00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:33,760
Oh, no.

153
00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:35,760
OK.

154
00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:35,760
FOOTSTEPS

155
00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:37,160
She's coming.

156
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:41,520
DOORBELL RINGS

157
00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:43,160
<font color="

158
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,640
KNOCK ON DOOR

159
00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:50,080
Hello?

160
00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:51,480
Anybody home?

161
00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:53,200
Agnes. What?

162
00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:56,520
All this excitement,
I'm bursting to go to the loo.

163
00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:58,520
DOORBELL RINGS

164
00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:00,320
Well, you can't go now.

165
00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:03,600
<font color="
your mind off it. OK.

166
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:10,680
I spy with my little eye

167
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:13,160
something beginning with T.

168
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,680
I will bucking choke you.

169
00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:19,160
Toilet. Will you shut up?

170
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:21,680
FOOTSTEPS RECEDE

171
00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:26,960
She's going.

172
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:28,520
<font color="

173
00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:31,040
No, wait till the car pulls away.

174
00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:34,080
I'm not taking any chances
with Lady Muck.

175
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,320
How come you don't like her, Agnes?

176
00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:40,120
I never said I didn't like her.

177
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,560
So you do like her?

178
00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:43,560
I never said that either.

179
00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:46,760
<font color="
she's very...

180
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,600
BAG CLATTERS

181
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,160
..sneaks.

182
00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:55,960
Hello, darlings.

183
00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:58,560
I'm sure it's here somewhere.

184
00:08:58,560 --> 00:09:00,440
Yeah, yeah.

185
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:01,880
Birdie lost her contact lens.

186
00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:04,400
We were just down looking for it.

187
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,560
<font color="

188
00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:08,680
I did ring the bell. Twice.

189
00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:13,400
Will you shut up, you gobshite?

190
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:15,960
So common. We are not common.

191
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:18,040
Agnes, I have to take a dump.

192
00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:21,840
Winnie!

193
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:23,200
Ah, here it is.

194
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:24,760
See you, Agnes.

195
00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,640
<font color="

196
00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:29,600
Now, this won't take long.

197
00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:33,360
I know how valuable a commodity
time is at your age.

198
00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:40,560
Do sit down, Hillary.
Your cankers must be killing you.

199
00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:43,880
Maria and Dermot,
I suppose you've heard the big news.

200
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:46,520
<font color="
to happen.

201
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:48,560
You don't like it either?
Well, how could I?

202
00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:50,600
Springing it on us like this, Agnes?

203
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:52,240
Exactly. So irresponsible.

204
00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:55,560
Not exactly giving us much time
to organise everything, are they?

205
00:09:55,560 --> 00:09:58,480
<font color="
What do you mean, us?

206
00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,800
Well, if it's a problem, darling,
I can do it myself.

207
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,960
I'm not sure about
the whole thing at all.

208
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,760
I understand, Agnes.

209
00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:07,200
Right, then. Leave it to me.

210
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:08,360
Thank you, Hillary.

211
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:09,800
<font color="

212
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:12,840
I'm meeting the choir in ten minutes
to pay the deposit.

213
00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:14,320
Choir? Yes.

214
00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:17,680
This is going to be the Nicholson
social event of the year, darling.

215
00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:20,120
We must have a choir.
It's a vow renewal.

216
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,480
<font color="

217
00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:25,120
I'm confused.

218
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:26,640
Are you saying no to the choir?

219
00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:28,400
Yes!

220
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,840
Hillary, you're losing the run
of yourself.

221
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,240
Oh, you're absolutely right, Agnes.
I am.

222
00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:36,080
Yeah, well, that's all right,
<font color="

223
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,920
It's an Irish phrase.
It means slow down.

224
00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:41,760
IRISH ACCENT: Stall the ball?

225
00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:46,000
Yes. You know, relax the cacks.

226
00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:48,520
Relax the cacks.

227
00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:49,840
You are so common.

228
00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:53,680
Oh, I am not common. Hillary,
<font color="

229
00:10:53,680 --> 00:10:55,360
And that is what?

230
00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:58,040
Well, that's common
and that's the touch.

231
00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:02,400
I'll be off.

232
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,640
I hurt my hand.

233
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:14,320
I've never heard anything
so stupid in me life.

234
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:17,280
Lots of people renew their vows,
<font color="

235
00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:18,880
After just 13 years?

236
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:21,160
It's a long time
by today's standards.

237
00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:22,640
And by yours.

238
00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:27,520
Let me put it in perspective.

239
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,920
My bra is older than their marriage.

240
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,840
Mammy, I think you should just
stay out of it

241
00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:36,560
<font color="

242
00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:38,280
Why can't he be like a normal
husband

243
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,240
and just give her chocolates
and flowers

244
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:43,080
that he buys in a local petrol
station?

245
00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:47,080
Your father proposed to me once
and we got married once.

246
00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:49,600
<font color="

247
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:53,440
Oh, he held me hands
and he looked into my eyes

248
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:55,320
and he started to stammer.

249
00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:58,680
He said,

250
00:11:58,680 --> 00:12:01,160
"Pregnant? What do you mean bucking
p-pregnant?"

251
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,480
It's great to have you home.

252
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,560
This is where you get to say,
<font color="

253
00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:15,240
Yeah, it is.

254
00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,520
Oh, here, I got you something
in the Vatican.

255
00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:19,840
Oh, Cathy, don't be spending
your money on me.

256
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,240
Well, it wasn't that expensive.

257
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,440
You can bucking keep it, so.

258
00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:26,040
I got Trevor one, too.
<font color="

259
00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:27,360
He's on his pilgrimage.

260
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:28,920
He'll be home tomorrow night.

261
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:30,440
Well, I'm going to bed.

262
00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:33,120
You heading up? No, I'm going
to finish this last cup of tea.

263
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,880
Goodnight, Mammy. Goodnight, love.

264
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:36,480
<font color="

265
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:40,160
Oh.

266
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,840
Oh, look at that.

267
00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:49,280
Cheap as chips, but lovely.

268
00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:57,360
Grandad, if you don't stop
doing this,

269
00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:01,880
you're going to cause permanent
damage. And you'll go blind.

270
00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:07,760
You want a cup of tea, Doctor?
<font color="

271
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:10,640
Agnes, do you have anything healthy
to drink?

272
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:11,760
Water.

273
00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:13,400
I'm only asking.

274
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:16,200
The reason I stay young, you know,
is because I eat healthy

275
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:17,480
and I drink healthy.

276
00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:19,840
And you lie about your age.

277
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:23,480
<font color="
I say healthy is all the rage.

278
00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,160
Too true.

279
00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:26,560
Oh, too true! Too true!

280
00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:30,040
Choo-choo, choo-choo!

281
00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,120
Is there a train coming?

282
00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:36,000
Oh, Agnes, it's so hard
to choose a theme.

283
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,280
Why do we need a theme?
<font color="

284
00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:40,320
What do you think of autumnal bliss?

285
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,640
It's a lovely air-freshener.

286
00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:44,720
And once again, darling,
it's not a party,

287
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:46,480
it's a soiree.

288
00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:49,120
Soiree we bucking started.

289
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,800
Music?

290
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:54,920
Ah, yes. Maria has requested
<font color="

291
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:58,080
Now, I know THE most wonderful
little pianist.

292
00:13:58,080 --> 00:13:59,880
Yeah, well, you married him.

293
00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:03,560
Sorry? Nothing.

294
00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:06,760
He is expensive, at 300 euros...
An inch.

295
00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:10,800
..an hour, but I think you'll agree
<font color="

296
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:12,480
Penny!

297
00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:16,760
No, I don't agree, Hillary.
I think it's madness.

298
00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:18,640
Well, what do you propose?

299
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,720
Leave it to me.
I didn't know you played.

300
00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:24,400
I don't, but at 300 euro an hour,
I'll learn it.

301
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,120
<font color="

302
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:28,800
Right. What are your thoughts
vis a vis the venue?

303
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:31,440
Well, vis a vis a vis,

304
00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:35,920
my vis's thoughts of vis's
was Foley's.

305
00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:38,000
Agnes, really?

306
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,480
You can't be serious.

307
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,360
I am serious.

308
00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:43,840
<font color="
that's where they got engaged.

309
00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:46,000
It's where the triplets
were christened.

310
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,680
No, I'm sorry, Hillary.

311
00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:49,080
That's a deal-breaker for me.

312
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:50,480
We'll see.

313
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:52,840
We'll see you in Foley's.

314
00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:54,960
Or...

315
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:57,680
<font color="
here in the house.

316
00:14:57,680 --> 00:14:59,520
God, no. Foley's, then.

317
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:03,080
I beg your pardon?

318
00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:05,400
Oops. Did I say that out loud?

319
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,400
Posh ponce.

320
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:13,640
Oops. Did I say that out loud?

321
00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:16,000
Bit below the belt, Agnes.

322
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,280
<font color="
your belt so high.

323
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,120
Is that to keep your titties up,
is it?

324
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,440
How dare you?

325
00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:25,080
How dare you? You started it.

326
00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:28,280
You have sneered at every
suggestion I've made.

327
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:31,200
That's only because they're shite.

328
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:35,400
<font color="
would be no more than a barn dance.

329
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:38,240
At which you'd have
plenty of company, you old cow.

330
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:41,480
There!

331
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:47,320
There!

332
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,360
Oh, dear.

333
00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:59,800
That went a lot better than
I expected.

334
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:06,280
<font color="

335
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,280
MUSIC STOPS

336
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,280
There you go.

337
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:10,480
You'd think I was playing it.

338
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:13,320
Oh, that's fantastic.
Can I have a go?

339
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,440
OK, so I go down the list,

340
00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:19,040
I get the number, put in the number
and press play.

341
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:22,200
<font color="

342
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:25,240
Oh, now you're talking, Agnes!

343
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:27,040
This is my kind of music.

344
00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:30,480
What's going on? What...?

345
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:31,920
You never pressed star.

346
00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:33,000
Try it again.

347
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,400
OK.

348
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:37,520
Number, star, play.

349
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:40,040
CANON IN D PLAYS

350
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:53,120
<font color="

351
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,080
Thanks very much. No problem.

352
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:57,720
I'll leave it in the kitchen, Ma.
Good boy.

353
00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:00,880
Hiya, Mark. Hiya. Hello, love.

354
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:02,480
Hiya. Hiya.

355
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:03,840
Any sign of Trevor?

356
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:05,320
<font color="

357
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:07,760
I thought he was coming home
last night.

358
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,640
How's things going
with the ceremony?

359
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:11,960
Well, the music is sorted.

360
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:15,680
We just need Trevor and Damien
to come home and we're all set,

361
00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:19,320
<font color="
of patching up with Hillary.

362
00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:21,480
Mammy, I knew you'd start
an argument.

363
00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:23,080
It wasn't an argument.

364
00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:28,160
OK, it was an argument,
but I didn't start it.

365
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:29,520
Yeah, right.

366
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:32,080
What a waste of fecking time.

367
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:35,200
<font color="
a baby-sitter and got married

368
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:36,520
and that was that.

369
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:41,120
I was never into the whole
marriage thing.

370
00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:43,440
No, I didn't want to be tied down.

371
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:46,200
Mind you, I didn't mind
being tied up.

372
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:50,760
"Don't be so rough."

373
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,040
<font color="

374
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:58,640
You never told me that.

375
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:05,000
I was standing at the bottom
of the stairs in me birthday suit.

376
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,560
Oh, my God.

377
00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:08,000
KNOCKING

378
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,400
That's the back door.

379
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,560
I'll get it! Thanks, love.

380
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:14,800
<font color="
Now, remember, it was February.

381
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:16,320
I was freezing.

382
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,200
But lucky enough I had a nice
fluffy muff.

383
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:24,160
I'm standing there at the bottom
of the stairs...

384
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,640
..I'm holding a rope in one hand,

385
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,840
and I have a bag of
<font color="

386
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:34,920
in the other hand.

387
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:36,600
And Redser walked in.

388
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:39,720
I swear he nearly dropped
his bucking bike.

389
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:44,120
He dragged me over to the banisters,
by the muff, and he...

390
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:48,560
He tied me to the banisters.

391
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,480
What knot did he use?

392
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:51,920
<font color="

393
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:53,320
Well, I like knots.

394
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:55,880
Go on, Agnes, go on.

395
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:59,360
So he tied me to the banisters.

396
00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:01,920
Oh, somebody open a window.

397
00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:06,880
And then he put his hand in the bag
and took out a handful of...

398
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:10,120
..you know, the glow-in-the-dark
nipple-clamps.

399
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,760
<font color="
and went down to the bucking pub.

400
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:20,320
I got yous hook, line and sinker.

401
00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:24,240
Ma. Mark, yes, love?

402
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:28,880
What's wrong? Mrs Brown?

403
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,840
It's about your son Trevor.

404
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,400
I told him to hold hands.

405
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:45,680
<font color="
just sitting here.

406
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:47,360
We should be doing something.

407
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:49,800
Mark said he'd let us know
if he hears anything.

408
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,560
Leave it to the professionals.

409
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:55,280
How hard can it be to find
12 priests?

410
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:58,720
Up a mountain, in the fog?

411
00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:00,320
<font color="

412
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:03,280
Just rattle a collection box,
they'll appear out of nowhere.

413
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,840
The Gardai said that they were
confident they would find them.

414
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:13,040
They will.

415
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:14,800
Hopefully alive, too.

416
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:21,480
Look, everybody needs to be a bit
<font color="

417
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:23,400
They'll be fine.

418
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,040
I hope so, Mammy.

419
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:26,400
They will.

420
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,200
I need a drink.

421
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:29,520
Sit down, Agnes.

422
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,640
Leave this to me.

423
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:34,720
Dermot, get your mother a drink,
her.

424
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:36,760
I'll get it meself.

425
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:41,760
<font color="
No, brandy.

426
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:43,120
Double? Yes.

427
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:50,280
Dermot, take the boxing gloves
off your grandad, will you?

428
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:52,320
He's parched with the thirst.

429
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,400
Oh, here's bucking Baywatch.

430
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:00,520
Agnes, I came as soon as I heard.

431
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,280
<font color="
You're very good.

432
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:03,600
Have you heard anything?

433
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:06,200
Just that they didn't return
when they were supposed to,

434
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,680
and the weather is hampering
the search.

435
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:10,480
He'll be fine.

436
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:12,120
They all will.

437
00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:13,680
<font color="

438
00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:17,280
They will be fine!

439
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:20,360
I bucking know they will.

440
00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:23,440
Agnes. What?

441
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:26,400
I mean it.

442
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:28,040
Oh, I'm going to mean...

443
00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:32,080
I know you do. Thanks, Hillary.

444
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:33,600
There you go, Mrs B. Thanks.

445
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:35,520
<font color="

446
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:37,120
Oh, could I have one of those?

447
00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:38,800
Sure. 11.50.

448
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:44,360
Hillary...

449
00:21:44,360 --> 00:21:47,280
I owe you an apology. Oh, we don't
need to discuss that now.

450
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:48,960
No, I do.

451
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:52,920
The Dermot and Maria thing,
<font color="

452
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:54,440
and I took it out on you.

453
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:57,360
I thought you were happy
about the ceremony. No.

454
00:21:57,360 --> 00:21:59,080
I'm old-fashioned.

455
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,960
I believe the vows you make
on your wedding day are the ones

456
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,600
that should stay with you
<font color="

457
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:07,080
Why would you try to renew them?
Why tempt fate?

458
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:11,920
Anybody I know who's renewed
their vows,

459
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:13,680
their marriage broke up.

460
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:15,560
Well, I'm sure
that's just coincidence.

461
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:18,760
It might be coincidence, but why
<font color="

462
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:20,560
If you're happy in your marriage...

463
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:22,120
Clap your hands.

464
00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:26,600
No, I wasn't going to say that.

465
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:32,680
I was going to say, be glad of it
and just work to keep it going.

466
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:35,080
I never thought of it like that.

467
00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:38,440
Get out the way.

468
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,240
<font color="

469
00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:44,480
They found them.

470
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:45,920
How are they?

471
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,600
Ask them yourself.

472
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:00,280
I owe you.

473
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,400
OK, everyone,
please take your seats.

474
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:12,560
They've arrived.

475
00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:16,240
Good luck, Agnes.

476
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:17,520
Thanks, Hillary.

477
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:20,080
<font color="
a wonderful job.

478
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:22,000
I've never seen the house
looking as good.

479
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,360
Well, it wasn't easy...

480
00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:24,760
OK, OK, buck off.

481
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:27,480
Will I start the music now?

482
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:30,840
No, no. Wait till they're under
the arch of love.

483
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:34,800
<font color="

484
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:37,960
Now, Buster!

485
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,040
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

486
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:43,040
Ladies and gentlemen, boys
and girls, it is my pleasure

487
00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:46,280
to introduce to you, all the way
from downtown Finglas,

488
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:50,320
weighing in at a combined weight
of 345lb...

489
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:52,280
<font color="

490
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:54,640
..Mr and Mrs Brown!

491
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:09,880
Agnes.

492
00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:11,080
Give me a minute!

493
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:14,120
Now play the music!

494
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:16,040
I'm trying. It won't work.

495
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:20,560
Oh, small technical difficulty,
darlings.

496
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:23,160
I have it. On.

497
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:26,920
<font color="

498
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:28,320
We may now proceed.

499
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:31,600
FAST VERSION OF OLD MACDONALD PLAYS

500
00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:54,120
MUSIC ENDS

501
00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:55,600
Good afternoon.

502
00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:58,280
We'd like to welcome you all
to witness Dermot and Maria

503
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:01,080
as they reaffirm their lives
to each other.

504
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:03,800
<font color="
should not renew their vows,

505
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,280
please speak now or forever
hold your peace.

506
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,080
Don't look at me. I said nothing.

507
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:12,360
SHEEP BAAS

508
00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:14,440
Sorry.

509
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:17,600
Well, I think it's safe
to say we can continue.

510
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:20,240
<font color="
young, beautiful hearts

511
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:21,720
first met... Stop.

512
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:24,960
It wasn't me!

513
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:26,560
COW MOOS

514
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:28,280
MOUTHS

515
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:29,720
It was me.

516
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:31,080
I need to object.

517
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:32,600
Ooh, plot twist.

518
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:36,000
DRAMATIC NOTES PLAY

519
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:39,200
<font color="

520
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:43,000
I'm sorry, Maria, darling, but I
can't let you do this. Both of you.

521
00:25:44,360 --> 00:25:46,520
Hillary,
I am embarrassed for you.

522
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:48,360
Everybody's staring at you!

523
00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:50,360
BIRD SQUAWKS

524
00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:54,760
I was all for this ceremony
<font color="

525
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,800
but you're making a mistake.

526
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:59,320
DONKEY BRAYS

527
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,200
You don't need to renew your vows.

528
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:05,440
You just need to keep on being
that special person

529
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:07,120
in each other's hearts.

530
00:26:07,120 --> 00:26:09,080
OTHERS: Aw...

531
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,760
<font color="
Mother.

532
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:14,600
In fairness, Maria,
she did have help.

533
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:16,760
Winnie, keep me out of this.

534
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:20,800
Agnes made me realise that you don't
need to renew your marriage.

535
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:22,400
You just need to celebrate it.

536
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:26,640
<font color="
relax the cacks?

537
00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:32,520
I'm good with that.

538
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:33,920
Well, if you're good, I'm good.

539
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:35,640
Right, everyone, listen up.

540
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:38,120
Last one down to Foley's
gets the first round.

541
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:48,000
Hillary, thank you.

542
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,800
I think it's you
<font color="

543
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:52,160
Oh...

544
00:26:56,080 --> 00:27:00,480
You know, for a snooty old cow,
she's not bad.

545
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:07,320
That was some week.

546
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:14,080
Trevor and Father Jamie
are home safe, thank God.

547
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:16,000
And a lot of lessons to be learned.

548
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:19,920
I mean, do you need a ceremony
<font color="

549
00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:21,800
No.

550
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:23,520
I have an idea.

551
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:25,520
Renew them every day.

552
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:28,440
Yes, make an effort to tell the
person you love

553
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:30,960
that you want to woo them
every single day.

554
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:34,280
See, marriage is like a doughnut.

555
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:37,960
<font color="
as there's a hole in the middle.

556
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:41,080
No, no, I didn't mean that.
That's not what I meant.

557
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:44,040
What I meant is,
marriage is like a loaf of bread.

558
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:48,440
You know, if you don't look
after it, it goes stale.

559
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:51,040
<font color="

560
00:27:52,360 --> 00:27:53,760
I'm a catch.

561
00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:58,200
And there was a bucking smell
off him.

562
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,200
Here's my tips for any relationship.

563
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:05,240
When the going is smooth,
go with the flow.

564
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:09,440
And when things get tricky,
and they will sometimes,

565
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:11,520
<font color="

566
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:14,040
Relax the cacks.

567
00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:20,080
Oh, and I want to dedicate
this series to Lily and Dame Edna.

568
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:22,200
Sleep well.

569
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:23,840
Goodnight.

570
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:29,080

of Dublin town

571
00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:35,200

<font color="

572
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:38,320


573
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:41,200


574
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:46,960

life get her down

575
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:50,440


576
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:53,440


577
00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:57,120